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Weathermen Lose Their Cool

BOSTON -- The Climategate controversy heated up with the leak of a new batch of emails hacked from American Meteorologist Society servers detailing some of the motivation behind the alleged hiding of data by researchers.

The communications reveal a near obsession with the power and prestige garnered by Climatologists as the result of the world wide focus on the crisis of Global Warming.

"We are gods," declared Michael Mann of Penn State University, who was instrumental in developing the so-called "Hockey Stick" graph showing the dramatic rise in the earths temperatures.

"Mike's nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (i.e., from 1981 onwards) and from 1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline," wrote Phil Jones, Head of the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Anglia, "Will surely keep us from us from once again becoming buffoons doing stupid weather tricks on the local news.

Benjamin Santer of Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory made a crack about "beat[ing] the crap" out of Al Roker.

The emails also demonstrate a clear consensus not only among climate researchers, but also among TV weather presenters that the Global Warming issue has been good for their image.

"Global warming made us heroes, saving the planet, and that made us very hip," said local MFTV weatherman Biz Bigglesworth. "Now we're all Bozos again."

Willard Scott, weatherman on NBC's The Today Show, who played Bozo the Clown and Ronald McDonald in commercials, once did the morning forecast dressed as Carmine Miranda, which drew the ire of Host Bryant Gumbel, as revealed in a leaked memo in 1989.

Al Gore, former Vice-President, Nobel Prize winner and founder of the Alliance for Climate Protection, was unavailable for comment on the potential setback to the survival of mankind caused by the latest revelations fueling the claims of Global Warming deniers that key researchers are too arrogant and too condescending.


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