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Bringing You Less for More

A funny thing happened in the aisles at the Walmart in Pistol Creek Junction . . . we could not help ourselves from filling our cart, along with hundreds of other shoppers -- many of whom we recognized as our fellow citizens from Mudcat Falls.

Citizens -- presumably a majority of whom voted for Mayor Alabaster, Council Chairman Needlemensch and Representative Mulch, the very gang leaders who valiantly fought and won the battle opposing the building of that very same Walmart in Mudcat Falls -- who are now voting with their pocketbooks by spending their hard earned wages in Pistol Creek Junction.

Evidently these poorly informed dolts did not get -- or possibly could not comprehend -- the talking points memo about Walmart's evil outsourcing of American jobs, their raping of the environment and their pillaging of local economies. They were probably blinded by the $29.00 DVD players and $100 assault weapons.

We also did not notice any BMWs and Jaguars in the parking lot or sables and minks in the health and beauty department, so we slept soundly that night (in our $9.99 pajamas beneath our $44.84 Microfiber Reversible Down Comforter, Smoky Blue/Gray) knowing that at least some responsible citizens are doing their civic duty to take a stand against Walmart and keep Bang and Olufsen, Hammacher-Schlemmer and Tiffany's in business.



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