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A Shot Heard Round Our Foot

The next time you are riding on a Mudcat Falls Transit Bus, take a close look at the person sitting beside you. When you hoist your next beer in a Barleycorn district neighborhood tavern, make a careful note of your fellow brew aficionados. At the next Fighting Gourds football game, scrutinize the rabid, oranged-faced, gap-toothed fans inhabiting the Pumpkin Patch end zone bleacher seats.

Dangerous? Perhaps. Armed? Not yet, but soon -- very soon, if Representative Mulch has his way.

We certainly do not want to cast aspersions on our fellow citizens and readers, but do we really need to have folks who cannot program a VCR, who cannot keep their pickup trucks from barrelling through red lights, who clog lunch lines agonizing over the plethora of fast food value meal choices, who idolize Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and WWE Wrestlers, stuffing Glock Model 17 9mm pistols in their belts, packed with eighteen rounds of lethal ammunition?

Though podiatrists and other healthcare providers throughout the region might disagree on the basis of economic self-interest, we think, perhaps not. Our time spent perusing through the Mudcat Falls police blotter to report on societal ills convinces us that the population at large might be better served than with Representative Mulch's proposed concealed carry law arming citizens in a throw back to the wild, wild west.

Should this misguided law pass in the state legislature, we at the Mudcat Falls Times-Herald-Post-Picayune-Press-Gazette-Tribune would have no other choice but to equip our own lobby security guards with M16 & M60 assault weapons to protect ourselves and our employees, thereby launching our tranquil community onto the slippery slope of a domestic policy of Mutual Assured Destruction.

Stop the MADness, Representative Mulch, and give peace a chance.



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